This is it! Le Finis! Let me lick your tears...

Ew. That title is a wee bit creepy, non? Still, THIS IS IT, dear non-corporeal readers! The end of the most epic tale ever told. If you haven't read the start, head to the first ever post (story telling in reverse. So hot right now). Due to waning authorial interest, the story does tend to end, well, abruptly. But life is short and you should be out praising Alice and I, instead of exhaustively reading our literary works of greatness! So without further ado, the very last few passages of the story-to-end-all-stories-even-that-one-about-the-Jewish-carpenter (too far?) :

Alex Walls

Okay okay I decided we should finish this story, so let's make a deadline

of FOUR MESSAGES EACH to finish, okay? And then we can decide

whether to start a new one or just cough awkwardly and pretend we

never met...
HUZZAH!

Alice Claire Hu

Her journey was filled with events such as dodging spades

(which so happened to be the castles great security plan) and

avoiding gnomes. Approaching Alice's prison, Ellie saw how

spades were probably the most expensive part of the security plan.

Two small kids were sitting at the barbed gate, shoving spaghetti

in their mouths and comparing stones they had found earlier in the

day. Ellie slowly approached, keeping in mind she may have to

breakout the Hoedown Throwdown if in fact these kids were more

than just a recessions effect on prison guards.

Alex Walls

However luck was with her, as the children began to have a slap

fight over who had picked the biggest bogey. Ellie waited patiently

as they slapped, kicked and bit their way into tantrums and then

followed in their wailing wake into the castle, where she heard an

imperious voice say "Less feta, MORE par-mee-sahhhhnnn! I will

be in the broomstick yard when you learn to cook, you philistine!"

and saw a cheese-covered security guard and a very pretty girl

coming toward her.

Alice Claire Hunt

overwhelmed with excitement that she had found Ailce so quickly

Ellie quickly ducked behind a cabbage bush to avoid being spotted

by the guard. Alice had taken a seat near one of the windows and

was absintmindedly twirling her hair muttering various cheese songs

she'd made up. Once the guard was out of view Ellie began to quietly

sneak towards Alice.

Alex Walls

(You have TWO left!) "Alice! Come on, let's go!" whispered Ellie,

grabbing Alice's pre-occupied hands. Alice started and then knocked

Ellie's hand away. "Ellie! I haven't done my HAIR yet!" she said

grumpily, and quite loudly. Making an executive decision, Ellie nodded

gravely at her sister's words and then hit her over the head with a

vase that was handily nearby and just hadn't been mentioned so far...

Draping her sister over her shoulder, Ellie hastened toward the

broomstick yard, where she intended to hitch a ride on a sticky

broom outta hurrr.

Alice Claire Hunt

To her surprise no one put up much of a fight. In fact, they were

all rather glad to be rid of Alice, even if it meant giving up the

Elixer as she was becoming quite the demanding prisoner.
Ellie raced towards her favorite broomstick, the Shifty Sweeper

(made popular around the mid 2000's by a famous chimney sweep

called Gary who also doubled as a secret agent). She hopped on,

threw Alice in the basket on the front and speed off before the

guards changed their mind and realised that in fact the Elixer was

what the whole story was based around and was therefore probably

worth fighting for.

Alex Walls

(LAST ONE ALICE!) As Ellie flew into the air, wobbling frantically

past a bloated, oversized moon (plagiarism? What plagiarism?!),

Alice moaned, stirred and dropped her shoe on the heads of the

frantically mobilising guards. With a complete lack of physics the

shoe bounced onto all five heads, knocking them out for the count,

just as Alice pulled out the Elixir and Ellie kicked the Shifty Sweeper

('Gary's Home -made Vasectomy! It Flies, It Soars, It's More Effective

Than Chemical Castration!') into high gear and flew back towards

Cuwuba Island, to find the gravesite of Colorado Bones, closely

followed by several salmony characters riding a baby seal with

strangely disgusting eyes.

Alice Claire Hunt

Alice turned to Ellie and asked "I don't understand what all the commotion

was about, and why can't we go back to the castle?? I was in the

middle of a high five championship with only 1 guard left to beat!"
Ellie rolled her eyes as they flew off into the distance,chuckling as

she thought of the friends lost along the way, all due to this simple

minded sister of hers.
"Don't worry Alice, we'll make you the high 5 champion yet."
And they both lived happily ever after.
The End.

Alex Walls Bro. I had one more too. Awkward...