J_36, 37 & 38: Another weekend in Jakarta, SPOILER: Sadness ensues and a Solemn Topic - this one's for the Byeard Maggott

Hello all,

Not sure if this weekend is really worth the post - it IS unfortunate I keep having boring periods for you! After Thursday's epic rant, I'm not entirely sure any of you are reading anymore anyway, so I'll carry on regardless, YEAH THAT'S RIGHT, I SHAKE MY FIST AT YOU ANY DANG WAYS!

Ahem. So Friday was spent trying to ring Malaysia to interview people about Putrajaya, the administrative capital - mission, unsuccessful. I went out to lunch with the other Globe interns and had a talk about plans when we're back home, and where we want to be in a bit - sounds like heaps of people are having quarter life crises, often tied to the fact that jobs, or bank accounts, require you to hang around for a year or so at home, when we're kind of ready to leave...I know I am.

HOWEVER, an afternoon spent researching technology advances made me really excited about my new job starting - I just love seeing what science comes up with, it's pretty amazing. Like creative problem solving but with gadgets. Yeah. You can have that one for free. It was mainly for the dream Jakarta section and I kinda overwhelmed the lady writing it with research and ideas, but it was much more preferable to researching capital cities that have moved and freaking out about everything due this week.

That's right readers. You may have noticed an inevitable pattern of laziness and then stress. I'm pretty sure this is just journalism, because you sit around doing research and waiting for people to contact you. Then you just decide people can go hang out with rabid bears and start bombarding them with phone calls as your deadline draws nigh and your editor starts appearing randomly behind your shoulder and asking frigidly why you're written "Cultural Stuff" half way down the page, and nothing else (not that this happened to me, or anything...)

Then it was time to head home for a quiet night in - I was supposed to go to Jogja this weekend but decided I would stay home and try and get some work done - HA! Foolish Alex, when will you learn? The rest of Friday night was spent sitting on Helena's floor, ordering pizza and drinking beer while chatting to Josh from downstairs. Then Helena watched Peter Pan while I, most unfortunately, looked up the Maggott Show, having quoted and episode to Josh and decided to unleash its glory upon them. If you've never heard of this show, the first episode is up on Youtube, and the rest can be accessed from steveargyle.com, if you search 'the maggott show'. They are a series of hilarious, utterly crude, clever fake radio shows hosted by a guy pretending to be an alien called The Byeard Maggott, who is ultra violent, sick and bloody hilarious. (Well some of them. Some of them are just crude. Sift through the chaff and all that I guess).
He interviews various guests like Yoda, Satan and Warchief Thrall from Warcraft 3. So one for the nerds, but a laugh for all. Anyway, I say unfortunately, because when I couldn't find the episodes on the original website, which had been inexplicably turned into a poker and travel website, I asked around this old forum my brother introduced me to, that the Maggott used to pretty much run. Turns out he killed himself about a year ago, and the website was allowed to expire.

Not nice. It's really thrown me, not the least because, as everyone says of most suicides, I just would never have picked it. From the sounds of things, he had a really loving, large family, so I can only assume he was depressed for a very long time. It was all very sad, and my creepy internet creeping (read: stalking) didn't turn up anything except more and more sadness, and grief and this enduring sense of confusion, and helplessness - why? When you've got so many people who love you, isn't it worth it just to hang on for them? It seems, as I say it, like a pathetic way to live, but the amount of pain that people seem to go through, and anger and guilt, when someone suicides just doesn't seem to make sense. I suppose it all comes down to the fact that I've never had depression, minor or major, and it's pretty hard to imagine a world where everything is grey and there's no point in getting up anymore because everyday is exactly the same amount of awfulness. Anyway, this is why I created the spoiler title, because not everyone wants to read this kind of thing.

So having made a major social gaffe on this nerdily nerdy forum (something about why he'd taken a hiatus OH DEAR) I think some of the people are going to try put up the shows somewhere that is easier to access, in order to remember him and keep the awesomeness of the show alive. RIP Maggott, you crass but hilarious bastard - you saved my life on train rides to school and during class, and procrastination won't be the same without you.

Anyway Peter Pan kind of lost its appeal after that, and I headed to bed a slightly subdued person. I slept in the next morning as per usual, and headed to Cafe Batavia, the colonial retreat, to meet Michelle and her boyfriend Chris for a drink before hunting down dumplings in Chinatown (Happy Chinese New Year, by the way!) Chris turned out to be awesome, but Helena and my navigational skills didn't, since we caught the bus to about 5 minutes from Batavia, and then proceeded to walk in the wrong direction for a good 15 minutes. LE SIGH. Roads are confusing in Jakarta - signs are scarce and don't always belong to the road they're on, or the one they point to, there are people and cars EVERYWHERE, it's always hot and polluted, and I don't like to ask people for directions sometimes, because when I need to there are inevitably about 6 toothless men grinning at me and saying things like "Hello meeees, oh yeahhhh" (no joke). Very uncomfortable - the calling out, and trying to touch you, and muttering things in Bahasa, and waving in your face is getting REALLY REALLY old. One part of Jakarta I won't miss.

Anyway, we made it, I enjoyed a hasty glass of Caribbean punch, and then we were off to find dumplings! We walked down many a twisty, muddy street lined with red lanterns that looked very China-towny, and I found a sweet shop on my first go, stocking up on exotic looking lollies (ALL OF WHICH WERE FOUL) including gelatine in a box, weird milk concoction wrapped in paper with a horse on it and a coffee mixture with a smiling panda on it, and some gummy fruits (which redeemed the lolly shops, BY GOLLY CHINA!)

We walked past some skinned frogs legs, rows of them, on bamboo leaves, flies buzzing around them, ironically enough (probably screaming in victory and pooing in triumph on the frog legs) but no Frenchmen (oh ho!), and directly behind the legs, whole frogs. Not sure if they were dead, they still had skins on at the least. The road was filthy - a layer of mud - and we all got flecked legs and dirty feet, grossss. We found a big temple complex with brightly painted rooves and dragons running across the eaves, and people lighting incense, and outside were the most beggars I have ever seen - very sad. By this time, we'd walked down a bajillion streets, and were lost in a 'walk way' that was actually just a very small gap between houses that twisted and turned back toward the main road and was PACKED with stalls. Luckily we emerged into the sunlight and out from under the dripping eaves to find a weird semi-abandoned mall (there are a lot of these in Jakarta) that had a dumpling place, and we sat down with a sigh of relief for some tea, dumplings and spring rolls. YUM.

I bussed home and had a shower/lie around, and then headed out at 9pm to go karaoking with Michelle et al. We even managed to drag Peter out, but only had one hour at the karaoke place ,which was sad but sensible. Then Helena, Peter, Michelle, Chris and I had coffee at their hotel and due to my uselessness, discussed enthralling subjects such as the Kirsk and how people could've escaped, the Bends, submarines in Sydney harbour, the Brisbane line, or whatever it is, and sea mines. Ah well, I found it enthralling. Oh, and Ghost Ship (Karl Urban, phwoar!) Then it was hometime, for an epic sleep until today, when I did literally nothing. I am useless! I did manage to con Helena into buying pesto and pasta on her shopping trip, but unfortunately my stomach rebelled. Owwww.

Now it's off to bed, and tomorrow it's time to PANIC as I must have three interviews done by tomorrow, NONE of which are organized. Great. Also panic inducing, my computer at work has been set up, and my friend Charlotte is all ready working hard. I am muy scared! Home in just over a week, amigos, and I leave Jakarta in less. How time flies when you're having AMAZING amounts of fun!

LESSONS LEARNT 36, 37 & 38:

- Eat lunch before setting out on wandering adventures - although the dumplings DID taste amazing

- DON'T drink copious amounts of coke! Your stomach will rise up against you.

- Get out of Jakarta if you ever travel here, and don't give a flying flip about work (that's a phrase) - I should have done this more

- Get your work done early, then you can travel out of Jakarta, instead of reading comics and listening to Nine Inch Nails on repeat. Sigh.

- Don't choose Island in the Sun by Weezer to sing - it's impossible!

- DO choose Smile, by Lily Allen. Awes sauce, particularly with accurate Cockney

- Brothers can be bloody useless when it comes to emailing, and mighty unflattering - but it's nice to have them

- I'm glad to have the friends and family I do :) I'm muy lucky and think so every day.